In The Moment
Today is the first day I’m actually comfortable being on vacation, I have been here for 5 days and been wanting to go home the entire time. As soon as I got here and I realized we didn’t really have plans for the week except for My daughter attending a morning orchestra camp each morning, I was overcome with anxiety: “What are we going to do?”, “What’s our plan?”, “What’s our schedule?”
“Maybe we don’t need to stay all week, we could go back on Wednesday.”
The night we arrived I began looking up return flights, maybe we could cut it a couple days short and I could get back to work. Back to my house, my garden, my dog, my life.
I realize now that I like so many other people I know I am caught up in the cycle of doing. Lists and lists and lists of things to do, to make sure my time is PRODUCTIVE. As a single parent And business owner I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove to myself and the world that I can do it all, and I can and I will eventually :)). However in my enthusiastic desire to build, grow, improve my life and my business, I’ve lost sight of just being; being a mom, a daughter, a friend, a person. Just experiencing what is unfolding around me and not trying to plan it all out or maximize my productivity.
It has taken me 5 days to relax enough to be ok with just being here, seeing what there is to see, doing what there is to do, and most importantly just being here with my daughter and my mother, regardless of what we are doing. I’m grateful to finally have arrived in the moment.